This blog is the third of a multi-part series on shifting attitudes in our society and how we, as fund development professionals, continue to flourish.
Show of hands… Would you accept a friend request from a major donor to the organization you serve? Would it change what you post? Would you begin creating lists within your Friends list to limit access to your posts?
At my first fundraising job, I was new to the community and busy making friends all while getting to know donors. Prior to my arrival, the organization had defined one of my new friends as a potential major donor. Suddenly, every interaction felt a bit tinged with work. If I shared honestly about my job, would it affect her donor relationship with the organization? If I closed off that element of my life to her, would she trust my motives when I asked her for a significant donation; that is, did I friend her to get money? As a person that enjoys getting to know people and being open, this felt like a major conflict to being authentic.
A couple of years later, I wrote a “Letter to the Editor” in response to an article with major factual errors under my own name regarding an issue that wasn’t a part of my organization’s mission. Safe, right? After the publication, my CEO made it clear that, as a development director with relationships to the major donor community, I no longer had a private, personal voice. My comments would be seen as an organizational stance.
In the 15 years since, the blur between a fund development professional’s work and personal life has increased with the rise of social media. A Facebook post or Twitter tweet meant for friends or as a personal view can have a greater impact than just that Letter to the Editor because of the potential viral nature. Accepting or declining a Friend request of a donor to the nonprofit you serve is fraught with decisions on how to be authentic in the online and the off-line relationship with that donor.
How then should we live authentically in a society permeated with social media?
After the experience of building friendships in my first job, I decided to very, very rarely ask my friends for donations or involvement in the nonprofits I serve as a fund development professional, consultant, or Board member, unless my friends approach me. Although I accept Friend requests, I rarely post on social media and I regularly review past posts to see if it would be wise to delete any of them. I have placed a firewall around my personal life, allowing asks in the outside open network of acquaintances and strangers.
In discussing this issue with an aunt who has raised millions in donations as a Board member, my aunt has taken a different approach. She will only solicit her friends for donations. For her, the nonprofits she serves are part of her authentic being in her community. She does not believe that she is being authentic asking a stranger for a donation. She has placed a moot with a drawbridge around her personal life, allowing asks inside her castle community of friends.
How will you choose to live authentically? Either option can lead to flourishing in your fund development profession.